Race Is No Determinant of Love

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Race Is No Determinant of Love

Alyssa Hartdige, Staff Writer

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When it comes to speaking about interracial relationships, my brain explodes with so many things to say.

I think of all the pros, the significance it has on my life, and how set aback I am when in a conversation with someone who makes a big deal out of interracial dating.

The title itself causes me to wonder, why is there even a title?

The top three pros that automatically come to mind about interracial dating are: avoiding baby mama drama (possible dilemma with couples that lack quality), uniquely significant in an interracial relationship (avoiding insignificance with your own race), and adorable mixed race babies. I’m not going to sugar coat this but those “pros” are insecure and brutally shallow. They do not define interracial dating and should not be used as a reason to go into an interracial relationship PERIOD.

One of the best pros in interracial dating would be: cultural exposure. It is the chance to embrace and stretch out of your culture comfort zone. This is one of the most ideal pros you could expect from an interracial relationship. To successfully pull off an interracial relationship it is needed to be open minded and respectfully curious.

My only experience in dating has been interracial.

I have no reason for why my experience has only been interracial except the fact that I am truly intrigued by the cultural exposure and how I overall love people. I don’t think that race should set the standard for how much you can love someone and it definitely should not stop you from loving someone.

As cliché as it sounds, love is technically blind.

This doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable to say whatever as if you do not acknowledge the race of your partner, but this means that your love for them is unconditional regardless of their race.

The adventure in every relationship is dealing with superfluous statements or questions that can cause you to wonder “Why do I talk to this person?” These statements include: “Wow you are so brave to be dating out of your race.” “What’s it like to swirl?” and the one that throws me off guard every time: “Are his parents okay that you’re black?” I’m not usually offended by these statements because these are actual concerns a person has when they go into an interracial relationship. Yet hearing the questions or statements come out of someone’s mouth―someone that is not aware of your circumstances can be a little hard to stomach.

It takes a lot of guts to admit that you are in the same curiosity bubble as they are. “Will they be okay with my race?” “Does my partner pity my race or color?” My word of advice is to stay confident because one of the biggest cons in dating is fear of acceptance. Accept who you are and acknowledge the fact that you are happy with who you are, who you are dating, and the amount of affection you have for your partner.

As long as confidence is valued to the maximum power no one’s comments or even questions should be a bother. Interracial dating is pretty awesome and so is same race dating. Interracial dating should not be used to escape insecurities because in the end there will only be chaos and an increased amount of insecurities. Thoughts how or what people are feeling or thinking will flood your brain.

It is up to you to throw those thoughts away along with the shallow pros because the only thing that is important is if you are truly happy.