Identity Issues

Cecilia Mendoza, Staff Writer

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Being bisexual or biromantic is defined as being sexually or
romantically attracted to the same gender as well as the opposite
gender. To put it lightly, not exclusive to one gender. It’s not a difficult concept for most to grasp, however for
a lot of the older generation of our society
it is hard to understand the concept of being
bisexual. This can make being comfortable around people who believe
being bisexual is “wrong” or “unnatural,” that much more difficult.
So when I mention in conversation that being a bisexual woman can
be difficult due to the homophobia that is still demonstrated through
friends and others, many people like to discredit this due to my being
in a heterosexual relationship. Being in a heterosexual relationships
does not make me or anyone else who identifies with being bisexual
any less bisexual. It truly astounds me that people believe the contrary.
I don’t speak for all bisexuals, but when someone discredits my
personal choice to identify myself with something that took me a really long time to accept, due to the institutionalized homophobia I grew
up with, I do get a little hurt by it. Someone completely disregarding
and erasing how I choose to label myself just makes me feel that they
have a total disregard for ever getting to truly know who I am.
Being bisexual does not make me who I am. Labeling myself as bisexual does make me
comfortable with who I am. The label gives me a sense of confirmation. Confirmation that
who and how I choose to love does not have to be “wrong” or “right,” but it can be, in itself,
something that is not meant to be judged. Something that’s not meant to be viewed under a
light of which is “correct,” which is socially acceptable, which won’t confuse kids, which
is too complicated to understand. Sexuality and expression of sexuality isn’t meant to be
viewed as something as clear cut as whether or not you pour the cereal
or the milk first. People have preferences. People learn from experiences. People need to stop being judged for their preferences. People
need to stop making assumptions. The assumption that a person is any
less of who they are is hurtful, and in some cases be mentally damaging.
Let me try to put it into context. If I tell you I am bisexual, and you
blatantly deny it just because I am in a heterosexual relationship, you
completely create the assumption that not a single bisexual can be in a
steady relationship. Applying your logic to this, a bisexual woman can
not be with a man unless she is straight. If the same bisexual woman
gets into a relationship with a woman she must be lesbian or gay. This
is not the case. Bisexual women stay bisexual women regaurdless of
the relationships they’re in. Their identity does not change, the only
thing that changes is their relationship status.
Many people struggle with identity issues, outright denying who
they are after they feel like they are comfortable enough to open themselves up to you is a
struggle within itself. It’s scary and hard to understand for many people on both sides of the
conversation. All that is being asked between the two is that their is complete support. Acceptance is one thing, support is another.